Shame
I think perhaps my favorite quote on this topic comes from my favorite person ever: Brene Brown. She stated ‘shame is the feeling that you are bad, guilt is the feeling that you have done something bad.’ Shame is essentially the fear that something within us makes us unworthy of love and connection.
I have to admit, I spent some of my evening co-mingling with the ever negative shame gremlins. Background story: I innocently, or so I thought, stopped to pick up something from my ex husband’s home. When I did so, his girlfriend decided to verbally attack me, randomly, fiercely, completely non provoked. She said some intensely hurtful things, and though she has literally no bearing on my life at all, I internalized some of her messages for a short bit.
Now, it took me like two hours to run what she said through my ‘truth bank,’ and realize that the words are both untrue of the human that I am, but also that they come from a human who is clearly hurting in some capacity (normally functioning humans do not randomly attack other humans with no provocation.) I did however feel blindsided, attacked, dumbfounded and walked away peacefully.
I’m proud that I handled myself like I did. I am proud I was able to bounce back and realize the lies she spewed were just that: lies. I spent a short amount of time dwelling, processed it and can move on with a smile and some grace. Shame gremlins are just that: gremlins. They aren’t real and don’t have power. You can work through and past them and the people they work through.
Life is really good at showing me that it is really in control, not me. Thank you, Universe. loud and clear. Less control, more go with the flow.
With love on this Friday morning!
Kara
I have to admit, I spent some of my evening co-mingling with the ever negative shame gremlins. Background story: I innocently, or so I thought, stopped to pick up something from my ex husband’s home. When I did so, his girlfriend decided to verbally attack me, randomly, fiercely, completely non provoked. She said some intensely hurtful things, and though she has literally no bearing on my life at all, I internalized some of her messages for a short bit.
Now, it took me like two hours to run what she said through my ‘truth bank,’ and realize that the words are both untrue of the human that I am, but also that they come from a human who is clearly hurting in some capacity (normally functioning humans do not randomly attack other humans with no provocation.) I did however feel blindsided, attacked, dumbfounded and walked away peacefully.
I’m proud that I handled myself like I did. I am proud I was able to bounce back and realize the lies she spewed were just that: lies. I spent a short amount of time dwelling, processed it and can move on with a smile and some grace. Shame gremlins are just that: gremlins. They aren’t real and don’t have power. You can work through and past them and the people they work through.
Life is really good at showing me that it is really in control, not me. Thank you, Universe. loud and clear. Less control, more go with the flow.
With love on this Friday morning!
Kara
Comments
Post a Comment